Ep 2: The Difference Between Stress and Overwhelm

Show Notes: 

Today's episode is all about stress & overwhelm: the differences between them, how they show up in the body, and some tools to help us through them!

We are all stressed. We know that stress is bad for us, emotionally and physically. How does stress show up for you?

What is the difference between stress and overwhelm?

Many of us use the terms interchangeably but they aren’t the same thing, and they impact our bodies in different ways.

In Atlas of the Heart, Brené Brown shares a great story about her waitressing days to explain the difference between the two.

Here’s a good way to remember this. When you are stressed, you are able to articulate what you need. You can make decisions.

Overwhelm is when you can’t process anything. The only thing to be done is to do nothing.

Brené’s definition of stressed from Atlas of the Heart is: we feel stressed when we evaluate environmental demand as beyond our ability to cope successfully, this includes elements of unpredictability, uncontrollability, and feeling overloaded.

Her definition of overwhelm is: An extreme level of stress, an emotional and/or cognitive intensity to the point of feeling unable to function.

Can you see the difference?

Psychologist Carol Gohm gives us a way to evaluate if our stress is at the level of overwhelm. Overwhelmed describes an experience where:

• Our emotions are intense (they are at a 10)
• Our focus on them is moderate (scale is at a 5)
• Our clarity about exactly what we’re feeling is low enough that we get confused when trying to identify or describe the emotions (scale is a 1)

This matters because when feeling overwhelmed we can make some of the worst decisions of our lives. We can’t process other emotional information accurately, another great reason for being clear about our level of stress.

Hear how I was able to make decisions in a high stress emergency situation and how my boyfriend (now husband) went into overwhelm and was unable to help in the moment.

Did you know your emotional reaction is tied to our cognitive assessment of whether we can cope with the situation than to how our body is reacting? It is not that our emotions respond to how our body is freaking out, but rather our emotions are responding to my “thinking assessment” of how well I can handle something.

It’s important to understand our stressors (an unexpected bill, or a parking ticket) and the stress. We can deal with the stressor (pay the bill) but we still have to deal with the associated stress as well.

How do we do we complete the stress cycle?

The most efficient way to deal with the stress cycle is physical activity. Exercise every day will help you move the daily stress from your body.

Breathing is another option, especially if you are in a place where physical activity isn’t possible. Also, laughter is medicine too!

Hear 4 more ways you can complete the stress cycle and note which one(s) you use now, and some you want to try.

Last winter, I predicted my own car accident, so crazy right? It wasn’t serious. It was a slow-motion fender bender which was fortunate for everyone involved. My body went into a big over-reaction. Has this happened to you? Hear how a hug from a stranger (who had to have been an angel) helped to make it better.

I wrap up with a short meditation to alleviate stress. You can come back and do this anytime.

Resources:

• Atlas of the Heart by Brené Brown
• Burnout: The Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle by Emily Nagoski & Amelia Nagoski
• Come As You Are by Emily Nagoski
• Meditation to Alleviate Stress: click the pink box below ⬇️ 

P.S. Want to dive deeper into your personal Emotional Expedition? Join me and an intimate group for an 8 week LIVE virtual book study of Brené Brown's book, Atlas of the Heart. This book will be our roadmap to understanding ourselves & others better, learning the language to better express ourselves & ask for what we need, and coming together in community & connection. For more information: Atlas of the Heart Book Study