Ep 11: Vulnerability

Vulnerability is super challenging. Acknowledging emotions that are painful and uncomfortable can make you feel defensive. It’s important that you be kind with yourself when you’re feeling vulnerable and extend grace to yourself for being human.

In this episode, I’m sharing the last emotion from chapter 1 of Brené Brown’s book, Atlas of the Heart, which is vulnerability. It is the key to wholeheartedness and having courage in uncertain times.

Some of the key points I want to share with you today are:

• Vulnerability is the ultimate paradox
• How to be vulnerable at the right time with the right people
• Brené Brown’s 4 myths of vulnerability

“In a world where perfectionism, pleasing, and proving are used as armor to protect our egos and our feelings, it takes a lot of courage to show up and be all in when we can't control the outcome.” -Brené Brown

Vulnerability is often seen as a weakness and we’re ultimately told to be brave, be strong and be courageous. You’ll probably never hear someone acting in bravery called weak, and yet the very act of bravery requires total vulnerability. There is no way to separate the two. You cannot be brave and courageous without risking something and ultimately being vulnerable, which is why it is the ultimate paradox.

It’s hard to do life without vulnerability. Though we try to avoid it, the truth is it’s unavoidable. Brené defines vulnerability in Atlas of the Heart as an emotion we experience during times of uncertainty, risk, and emotional exposure.

One of the things I really want you to understand and hold onto from this episode is that it takes courage to be vulnerable, and vulnerable moments shared can make a person feel seen, less isolated, and more connected, but not everyone deserves your vulnerability. I share more about this in my fertility story, but I also share with you the new rule I’ve adopted after many lessons: I only share vulnerably with people who can be just as vulnerable with me.

“Being vulnerable feels dangerous and I think it feels scary and I think it’s terrifying, but I don’t think it’s as dangerous, scary, or terrifying as getting to the end of our lives and wondering what if I would have shown up.” -Brené Brown

Questions to reflect on your own vulnerability:

• How much time and effort do you spend running from vulnerability? 
• How are you protecting yourself in ways that ensure that you never have to be vulnerable?

Being vulnerable is part of showing up in life for yourself and for the people you love. I think that as you reflect on your own vulnerability, you’ll see that in the times when you were your most vulnerable, you were your bravest and most courageous self. The outcome may hurt, but it becomes less relevant when you stand proud knowing that you risked the uncertainty and exposed the real you anyway.

Resources:

Atlas of the Heart by Brené Brown: https://amzn.to/3S8W6Dw 

The Myth of Normal by Gabor Mate: https://amzn.to/3DExbnp 

Daring Greatly by Brené Brown: https://amzn.to/3BTDCRX 

Bittersweet by Susan Cain: https://amzn.to/3SgMGFT 

The Hero with a Thousand Faces by Joseph Campbell: https://amzn.to/3Lv3mHv 

Ted Talk: The Power of Vulnerability by Brené Brown

P.S. Want to dive deeper into your personal Emotional Expedition? Join me and an intimate group for an 8 week LIVE virtual book study of Brené Brown's book, Atlas of the Heart. This book will be our roadmap to understanding ourselves & others better, learning the language to better express ourselves & ask for what we need, and coming together in community & connection. For more information: Atlas of the Heart Book Study